I asked our readers, “What would be your perfect marriage proposal?”

Here is one of my favorite responses.   While the site it mostly written from the proposer’s perspective it is great to hear first hand from the other side. The site’s purpose is to make “her” happy and this is Gisella Famà’s advice from the female perspective.

The perfect marriage proposal doesn’t require the participation of a huge crowd or a fancy choreography. A bling bling ring or Hollywood monologues.

It does need to be intimate and, most importantly, it must show that a lot of thought went into preparing for it and making it memorable for the couple, whatever that means to that particular couple.

There are, I believe, three ways to show thought in the process.

First, maybe a bit old school, but good to use even with the less traditional brides-to-be (or grooms-to-be), is asking the permission to the parents or someone important to the them in the days (or

months) before the actual day. It’s not because you really need their permission, but because when someone tells you after receiving the ring that they have been so thoughtful and have maybe also fought their embarrassment to get on the phone with your dad… well, it just makes the event more special. And it makes your ring shine even more, for many months and years afterwards, forever if you are lucky!

Second, putting some effort, not money, in the choice of the ring (or whatever you are using in the day to show commitment). Again, when someone tells you they have researched for months the cut, and they looked for something that could express how different you are and they are able to describe the little details they loved about that particular ring, it doesn’t matter at all if they spent £100 or £100k on it, as their time has definitely more value than any banknote in the world.

Third, making it unexpected. Involving the other person in the choice of the ring, or organizing something so big that it’s clear that something is going to happen on the day, can be reassuring for some people, but totally kills the opportunity of a real shocked reaction, and a good story to tell family and friends. It’s also a good idea if the proposal happens close to a place where to grab a drink afterwards to celebrate (or recover from the shock).

This is my husband and my special place. A wet fountain in the central square of a little French city called Lille. The proposal happened 3 years and a half ago, on a rainy night walk in the area, where as a proper Italian princess I refused to pose for a picture near the fountain, which was just an excuse for him to distract me, get on his knees and open the box. My face got frozen, not by the cold, and required (literally) a cocktail bowl – that thankfully the nearby bar served – to start moving again and realize what had just happened.

Thank you Gisella for sharing your insights and personal story.   To find your own proposal ideas and location please visit Picking the proposal location